One Year Followup

I can’t believe it’s been a year already! In fairness, it’s been a crazy year. On top of losing nearly half my body weight, I (along with the rest of the World) have been trying to navigate life during a pandemic. In a sense, I’m incredibly lucky to have had surgery when I did. About two weeks after my surgery, they stopped doing “elective” surgeries. So, while everyone else was packing on the pounds, food was literally making me physically ill. Make no mistake, I’m not knocking anyone who put n weight during the stress and changes we have undergone. I am absolutely certain that I would have gained weight absent the surgery.

I just had my one year post-op with my surgical team. I never actually knew my medical goal weight. I knew I had reached it by my 9 month followup, but that’s all I knew. Apparently, my medical goal weight was 188. I’m now under 150 pounds. I am even still slowly losing. Frankly, that’s not even significant to me at this point. At the appointment, they asked what I had hoped for when I had the surgery. I explained that at one time I was between 135 pounds and 140 pounds. Having said that, I knew that the goal of the surgery I had was for patients to lose 80% of their excess body weight. So, I tried to remain realistic and contain my expectations. At this point, I am 10 pounds and one dress size away from being my cited “thin” size, though. The surgical team even asked if their promotional department could contact me as one of their success stories.

My husband said to me a couple of days ago that he literally thought it was impossible for me to drop below 140 pounds at this point in my life – surgery or not. I’m not the same age as I was when I considered myself thin (I’m over 10 years older), and I’m not a short woman. Now, he pretty much assumes that I will make that “goal.”

As stated above, it’s insignificant to me now. I am doing what I do. I finally have a healthy lifestyle. My relationship with food is healthy. I joked with my husband a few days before my one year post-op appointment that I was going to do the Devil Wears Prada diet (where you don’t eat anything until you are about to pass out and then eat a cube of cheese) because I was only a couple of pounds away from fitting into my size 10 jeans and I wanted to wear them to my appointment. While he knew I was joking about the Devil Wears Prada diet, it was clear that he assumed that I was serious about crash dieting for a few days to get into the jeans. I very quickly explained that the concept of dieting was not one I wanted to embrace anymore. It never served me well. Dieting is the opposite of overeating. It’s all an unhealthy mind frame around the role of food in my life.

I’m not saying I no longer eat foods that I like. In fact, I think it’s dangerous not to eat food that I enjoy. Feeling completely deprived is tough and is not a sustainable lifestyle choice for me. I don’t eat a lot, though. I eat when I’m hungry. I eat slowly. I stop when I’m satisfied (not “full”). I don’t eat garbage. I don’t even eat processed foods. I’m terrified of added sugars (in fairness, that is partly the result of the fact that they make me physically ill!).

I have a healthy relationship with activity, too. I work with a personal trainer twice a week, and I like it. I’m even getting close to being able to do an unassisted pull-up! I do cardio prior to those sessions as well as any other days I can fit it in. The other day, I realized that the treadmill speed had gotten too easy. So, I increased it. At the speed I increased it to, it felt natural to jog. So, I did. It was a little surreal. I thought, “Wow! That’s new!”

So, yes. It has been a crazy year all around. One for the books. I’m happy. I’m healthy. There is still a pandemic going on around me, but it seems realistic that anyone who wants to be vaccinated will be within 2-4 months.

Life is good.

Happy New Year to Me!

How did I get here? I am five pounds from having a healthy BMI according to the BMI charts. Given that I have been seeing a personal trainer and have seen a significant change in my muscle composition, it feels likely that I’m already there given that those charts are averages and do not account for those who are doing an above average amount of weight training.

I got on the scale to update my weight this morning. After a few minutes it occurred to me that I am now only 25 pounds away from the weight that I set as my “in a perfect world” weight. it’s impossible to know if I will ever reach it (and it isn’t that important in the big picture of things). It’s still shocking to realize I’m this close to it!

I honestly cannot remember what my expectations were pre-surgery with respect to whether the scale ever reached my magic number. I know that I had learned prior to surgery that my surgeon’s goal weight for me would me higher than my personal goal weight. I know that, at the very least, I wanted to lose more than what was considered the average or normal amount of weight that I should expect to lose (which I had surpassed at my 9 month post-op visit). I just don’t remember what my actual expectations were.

I don’t know if it occurred to me at the time, but in hindsight, my magic number was always a bit unrealistic. After all, is it really reasonable for someone who has struggled with their weight their whole live and reached their highest weight (by far) at nearly 300 pounds to reach the weight they were at 30-35 years old when they are now approaching 50 years of age? Probably not.

I am, nonetheless, approaching that weight. And, while my weight loss has slowed some, it’s definitely still coming off. So, I guess . . . to be determined. Regardless, I feel good physically. I hoped but never imagined that my self-esteem would be so fully restored. I’m a more fun mom (because I can play and be active with my daughter) who will hopefully be around longer for all my children and grandchildren. Life is SO good!

Happy New Year! While I reached some phenomenal goals in 2020, I realize that saying adieu to 2020 is a good thing for other reasons. So, I have to give an overall shoutout to the new year. Yay! We made it!

Non-Scale Victory!

The gym where I meet with my personal trainer on Wednesday and Friday has a small personal training room (I say small but it’s not really small. It is just small in comparison to the massive two story gym.). The north and south sides of the room look pretty similar. Anyway, we have always worked out on the north side of the room. It never occurred to me that my personal trainer might have selected that side for a reason. On Friday, after my workout (and I have been working with her for about six weeks), she said “Okay. We’re going to have to work out on the other side of the room next time. You’ve maxed out the weight on the equipment on this side of the room.” That does not sound like a bad thing to me! HW: 297; SW 286; CW 178; RNY 2/20/20.

A New Relationship With Food

I had my RNY gastric bypass on 2/20/20. From about 2 weeks post-op to some extended period of time after that (at least 3 months out), I was basically in tears at the drop of the hat because I couldn’t have some food item that I was desperately craving. I was not one of the patients who ever regretted my decision. It was just SO much more difficult than I imagined. I could not be in the same room with people eating regular food. Shoot, I was forced to feed my 3 year old because I wasn’t going to let her starve but it was challenging!

Now, a little over 8 months out and my relationship with food is a new story. While I’m a little bitter with the fact that Covid is preventing me from having a traditional trick or treating experience with my 3 year old, my neighborhood has all agreed to engage in a modified version to minimize risk some for those of us willing to accept the lesser risk. We are pre-packaging bags of candy and placing them separated from one another for kids to come by (socially distanced), grab a bag, and move to the next house.

So, the point is that during those first couple/few months, I was bitter about my inability to eat what I wanted (despite the fact that I kept my eye on the prize). Today, however, we need to package a bunch of candy in bags. I should say that last Halloween (as was pretty common), I ate my fair share of candy. A couple of hours ago, my husband separated all of this out and said, “Ummm, babe . . . I’m going to need some help bagging some of this.” As you can see, it was hard to disagree (we live in a neighborhood that gets hit pretty hard by trick or treaters). He actually took the kiddo upstairs for a nap at that point and inadvertently fell asleep himself. So, I packaged all the candy. There were no tears or frustration at all. In fact, I didn’t feel like I was being cheated out of anything. I was just preparing for what I hope will be a safe trick or treating experience for my entire neighborhood (including my child and family!).

100+ Pounds Down

I’ve been seeing a personal trainer for three and a half weeks now. To say that I’m enjoying it might be a stretch, but I’m definitely enjoying the effects!

I am now two days shy of eight months post-op and I have lost over 100 pounds. I am 45-50 pounds shy of what I consider my perfect weight. Having said that, at this point I can (shockingly) say that I am no longer disappointed when I see my reflection in a mirror.

So far, I do not have a bunch of loose skin. I am forever grateful for that since loose skin is a fact that all weight loss surgery patients must face as a likelihood. I realize that it may still come. Since I have not seen anything significant at over 100 pounds lost, though, it feels like even if it does come, it won’t be as bad as I feared.

I did lose a buttload of hair! Frankly, while hair loss is also something that every weight loss surgery patient must accept as a possibility, I convinced myself that I wouldn’t notice this as much as others because my hair is so thick. As it turns out, that was faulty logic. My hair loss seems to have ceased but I’m not yet noticing any regrowth yet. I know it’s coming. For now, though, most days you will find my hair tied up in a ponytail because I notice it less that way.

The health affects have been great. I’m off of my blood pressure medicine. Plus, while my lipid counts were never bad, my triglycerides were horrendous the last time they were checked pre-op, they are now excellent. All in all, while I would be pleased to continue to lose some additional weight (and plan on continuing to put in the work), I’m already thrilled with where I am in the process.

MAJOR Milestone

While I knew that the day was creeping up on me, I had no idea that today would be the day when I woke up. I had to meet with my personal trainer today and my alarm didn’t go off. So, I was very rushed this morning. Nonetheless, I hopped on the scale like I do every morning (I know. I know. You shouldn’t weigh every day. I don’t want to hear it.). I was happy to see a small loss from yesterday. Then, it happened. I looked at my iPad (I have a Renpho smart scale), and there it was looking back at me. BMI 29.9. For those of you that do not know, the world health organization (and consequently physicians everywhere) classify individuals as obese if there BMI is 30 or above. It’s absolutely surreal.

So, I have now lost about 98 pounds and have 50-55 pounds to go to feel like my ideal self. What a massive milestone this is, though. It’s completely surreal. I am incredibly grateful to everyone who has supported me through this journey (and continues to support me as I strive for my deal self). Stay tuned for an updated before and after in the not to distant future!

Seven Months Out

So, here I stand seven months out from Roux En Y Gastric Bypass WeightLoss Surgery. The other day I got what is left of my hair colored. My stylist was asking about my journey. She was asking detailed questions. So, I confirm that the first few months were pretty bad physiologically and psychologically. So, she asked, “Would you do it again?” “Hell yes!” I responded. I’ve lost over 90 pounds! That’s something to celebrate!

Having said that, thing’s have really slowed to a crawl now. If I lose a pound a week, it’s a surprise. Stall? You would think. I don’t think so, though. This has been an ongoing struggle for a couple of months now. I believe that my metabolism has slowed way down as the result of eating super low calorie for so long.

How does one speed up their metabolism? Exercise. I’ve been trying to get in cardio. Some weeks are better than others but I haven’t been doing too bad with it. I read that strength training was essential to speed your metabolism, though. That makes sense since it takes more calories to maintain muscle than fat, and it certainly takes calories to build muscle!

So, I’m seeing a personal trainer now! I meet with her on Wednesday and Friday before work. It turns out that a friend goes to the gym everyday before work. She invited me to work out with her and her workout buddy. While my personal trainer has asked me to only to do the line of machines if I want to strength train on Sunday or Monday because there is no one there to watch my form if I’m doing freestyle exercises, I am talking to my friend about what days they do cardio in hopes of joining them for that. Regardless, I will be heading up most days between personal training sessions to do cardio myself.

The bottom line is – I think I’m going to have to work for it if I want to continue to lose weight. Weight loss surgery typically only results in the patient losing a certain percentage of their excess weight. Sadly, I think I’m there. While, I’m grateful for every pound I’ve lost, that knowledge kind of bites! So, I guess . . . I’m going to work!

Onederland!

I haven’t posted in a while because my weight loss journey has been kind of a nightmare over the last couple of months. I had a 4-6 week weight loss stall in which I was bouncing between 212 and 215. Given that I was under six months out and I had not altered my dietary regimen, it was scary as crap!

“Fine. I’ve lost over 70 pounds” I thought. “While that may be great, I’d like to lose another 70. So, this is NOT okay!” Two or three weeks into the stall, I began weighing and measuring everything I put into my mouth. My nutritionist doesn’t ask me to do that but I figured it couldn’t hurt just to be able to actually see how I was doing with respect to my diet. It looked fine.

About three weeks ago or so, I began adding in about an hour of cardio a day. Thankfully the scale FINALLY began to move again! In fact, It moved rapidly. The scale’s movement has slowed down now that I’m convalescing from something that has been causing me significant back pain for about two weeks (which I’m getting checked out today) but it is still moving.

SO, today is the day! I reached ‘onederland’ (that magical place that people who become morbidly obese dream about whereby your weight starts with the number one again)!

Movement!

Could have just as easily titled this piece – It Is About Time! At the time of my last post, I weighed in at 209.6. I titled that post – Onederland Imminence and talked about how surreal my newly redound rapid weight loss felt as well as my excitement about creeping up on onederland.

Clearly something about that post irritated my mind and/or body. In the 3 days following it, I regained 3 pounds. Then, the scale stopped moving. That was close to two weeks ago.

A few days ago, I became obsessive. First, I realized that my mother (who lives with my husband, my three year old and myself) had switched us to fat free half and half. Upon examination, I realized that it had changed my carb intake from one to four carbs per serving. I’ve been drinking more coffee than usual. So, I immediately identified that as one culprit of unhelpfulness.

Then, I began weighing and tracking my food (something that my doctor doesn’t require). It was mostly for the purpose of being able to see what I was consuming. I’m actually doing fine, there. I’m taking in between 650 and 850 calories a day and meeting my protein goal everyday. At five months out, I think that’s about where I should be. Interesting note – MyFitnessPal will not let you complete a daily food journal entry if you are under 1,000 calories. It warns you that you aren’t eating enough and there is no button that I saw to complete the entry anyway. They really end to create such a button or, alternatively, create an option under the settings to indicate that you are a bariatric patient and have that lift that restriction on completing daily food journals.

Even though I am (and was) doing fine consumption wise, the food scale has still been a game changer! About once a day I was eating a meal with a few ounces too much food and it was SO painful! Overeating after weight loss surgery is no joke! Since right now my diet is extremely limited, I now know about how much of everything I can eat without feeling overly full. I do not miss that awful, “I feel like i ate a cow because I had 3-4 too many bites” feeling!”

Most importantly, the s ale has started to move again! I’m now a few ounces from my low weight fro a couple of weeks ago! thank goodness! I now realize that while I did make a few positive changes to my habits over the last couple/few days, I didn’t need to make any significant changes. That tells me that what I was experiencing was a good old-fashioned weight loss stall. While it is totally annoying, it’s just part of the process.

Fortunately (knocking on wood despite the fact that I’m not at all superstitious), I seem to have broken the stall. So, here is to a new day!